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The current period represents a full decade since the word “ghosting” hit the mainstream. Back then, the idea that someone could suddenly stop communication with a partner without any notice seemed like the height of rudeness. Our innocence was charming. In the ten-year span since, finding a partner has only become more confounding – an commonly unsuccessful exercise in embarrassment that is increasingly defined by online slang.

Generation Z, a generation who grew up during a social isolation crisis, a masculinity crisis, and a widespread assault on the freedoms of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier environment than their millennial elders could ever fathom. And so their dating vocabulary has grown more elaborate and more bizarre, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” straining the limits of your sanity.

Below is a comprehensive breakdown to the phrases Zoomers is using to navigate romance, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To echo one of the recent most viral online sayings, by the conclusion of this list you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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A

Realness – According to Zoomers, romance's gold standard is presenting as your real, unvarnished self. Best wishes with that!

B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend loosely based on a test developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something minor – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s response is inquisitive or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while oozing enigma and independence. (She might still have baby bangs.)

C

Support test – This means going for someone who aids you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would get a seat for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A date where two people form a link while running errands, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained twentysomethings do budget-friendly romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Crashing out – Losing it when you feel swamped by life. You can crash out over a crush or breakup, spilling all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a marker of 1980s yuppie affluence, it refers to partners who choose against having children to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Open communication – The antithesis of acting aloof: practicing dialogue, honesty and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Danger signals – Behavioral quirks signaling a prospective partner is not right. Such as calling their former partners crazy, poor tipping habits, a love of controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Positive signs – These actions confirm your decision to date a partner. For instance following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal screen time, owning a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe specific, largely benign idiosyncrasies. Such as being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still carrying around a pen in their purse, paying rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you meet someone who’s just as passionate about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who loathes the same things or individuals that you do (nothing builds closeness faster than having a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A band many young men is into.

Ghostlighting – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of ghosting.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The rare boyfriend who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online community of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, intentionally postponing climax so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A mindset describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no ambitions of her own aside from pleasing her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Icks – Arbitrary and frequently trivial dealbreakers that instantly shut down any sense of attraction.

“He would if he cared" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an incredibly sweet act.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal partner: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in sectors they believe are being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, educators or therapists.

K

Making out – This year, scientists learned that kissing has been around for 16 million years. But the era of locking lips may be waning since some Zoomers desire fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy believable.

Light catfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {